This year we returned to homeschooling after a hiatus. Like many families, a few years ago we homeschooled during the pandemic. Like many families, we almost lost our minds. So when we decided to homeschool again this year, I seriously questioned my sanity.
Crazy? Perhaps. Hopeful? That’s what I’m going with. I have this nagging feeling that we didn’t get it right the first time around. “Homeschooling” during the pandemic was really “crisis schooling.”
So we’re dusting off our schoolbooks and routines, taking a long good look at what went wrong (and right!) during our first experiment, and jumping back into the homeschool adventure.
Our Why
In a few words, our “why” comes down to family culture, values and academics.
I don’t think homeschool is the first choice that most parents have on their list. It certainly wasn’t on ours. Neither my husband nor I was homeschooled as a child. We both attended public school and then private prep high schools. Homeschooling wasn’t an option we even considered when our children were young.
As time went on, however, and our children grew into the late elementary years, we found our family culture suffered. The day consisted of rushing to school, rushing to complete homework, and rushing to afternoon sports and activities. Family dinner, a priority for us, was often non-existent. After a quick meal, leftover schoolwork was crammed into the evening hours. We were all exhausted, and our moods reflected it.
Second, we sadly discovered that our values are increasingly at odds with public education. We are a Catholic family, and want our children’s education to reflect our faith. Moreover, the pervasiveness of technology in the classroom – and in kids’ back pockets – is concerning. We are not anti-technology in the least, but are wary of its often unmetered access to impressionable kids and young adults.
Finally, we want our kids not only to excel in academics but to love learning. To excite in them a thirst for knowledge, and the confidence that they can conquer anything they put their mind to. Education is so much more than traditional curricula – by homeschooling we’re able to incorporate music, art, and ample nature exploration into our days. Our kids are developing (and have time for) their passions, whether those be piano, whittling, sports, literature, RC plane flying, cooking, or history. This it not to say that all of these things aren’t possible in a traditional educational model – just that for our family, homeschooling lets our family breathe, slow down, and lean into self-discovery.
Our How
Here’s where I get real. Homeschooling is no piece of cake. For me, it’s a sprint. Yes, I get the irony of waxing poetically about slowing down. And it’s true! We have slowed down collectively as a family and relish that quality time. But on my end, I’m still learning how to juggle it all. The bills still need to be paid, the house cleaned, the family fed. And I still need to somehow find time for myself, to fill my cup so that I have the grace to fill those of my family. It’s no easy task, let me tell you.
I promised myself that if I gave this another go, I would find my ‘pain points’ from our pandemic year and address each one. Based on the changes we’ve made and a (thankfully) much improved homeschool experience, here are some Tips for Homeschool Success.
Tips for Homeschool Success
- Remember that you have a job: This is a big one for me because I decided to take time away from my career when our third child was born.
- Self-care – As a mom, I have never been good at taking care of myself. The needs of the family always seem to take precedent. However, I’ve learned the hard way that if I don’t care for myself first, everything else crumbles. For me self-care means exercise, time for friends, and finding time for the things that I love – like writing and being crafty. This often feels next to impossible when caring for kids 24/7 and filling most spare moments with homeschool or household work. I’ve found the only way to make it happen is to schedule time for myself and not give into the temptation to fill it with something else that needs to get done – folding, washing dishes, grading schoolwork, paying bills. Because there will always be something else that needs to get done. So I get up early to exercise before the kids are up (and before I look at my to-do list!) and carve out time in the afternoons and evenings for writing. These blocks of time are priorities.
- Time alone – Don’t be shy about hiring a babysitter or finding an afternoon a week when all the kids are at an activity so you can have a few hours that are your own – for appointments, for errands, for tea with a friend. Or simply just to breathe. Blissfully alone. I’ve found this alone time to be restorative and absolutely essential.
- Community – Given our experience homeschooling during the pandemic was soul-crushingly lonely, a priority this year was finding ‘our people.’ We joined an existing homeschool co-op, began a new co-op at our church, and got involved in a new local homeschool group. We have no lack of activities to meet new friends. This was not just for the kids – but for me, too. I need community just as much – or perhaps more than – the kids. Not only the friendship that it provides, but the comfort of knowing people who are walking this path with us.
- Focus on goals rather than perfection – When I began our family’s homeschool journey I had visions of a perpetually joyful home grounded in truth, goodness and beauty where the kids behave all the time, do their work without complaining, and always love learning. Ha! That is a far cry from reality. Everyday we experience challenges in our home – whether those be sibling fights, arguments about completing an assignment or practicing an instrument, messy rooms, lack of listening, etc. Rather than judging myself by an unrealistic vision, I’ve learned instead to ask the question of whether we are generally trending in that direction. Are we more joyful as a family than we were a year ago? Are the kids discovering new subjects or activities that excite learning? Is there less complaining over time? As long as we are making progress, we’re heading in the right direction.
- Stop doubting yourself -Am I failing the kids? Would they do better in school? Should I change our curriculum? The list can go on and on. As you might imagine, thinking like this constantly can make you miserable and destroy confidence. Yes, it’s important to look at what’s working and what’s not – just like you would in an professional setting – but look at those as opportunities to learn rather than tear yourself down.
- Coaching – If you get stuck, find a homeschool coach to help give you direction. I am lucky – there is an incredible homeschool coach in my area that I’ve relied on numerous times this year to get me un-stuck and build my confidence. (She also does long-distance coaching!)
