Originally published in the 2026 Winter Edition of Soul Gardening.
“Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts…”
Growing up Catholic and now raising a family of my own, saying grace before meals is an important tradition ingrained in my being. So much so, that I’ve been known at times to forget that I’ve said it.
“Stop eating, we need to say grace!” I’ll exclaim at the table, fork poised mid-bite. “Um, mom, we just said it a minute ago,” the kids will respond with a stifled giggle. Oh. Oops. It’s in those humble moments that, while I’m glad we prayed, I realize that if my prayers are on autopilot, it’s probably high time for me to pause and pay a bit more attention.
Paying attention. Isn’t that a beautiful concept? How often with life, and with prayer, do we find that we’re simply not paying attention? How often do I find myself saying a Hail Mary at night, struggling to reign my mind back to prayer instead of the countless thoughts competing for my attention? How often do I find that my husband, or my child, has been talking to me for the last five minutes, yet I have no idea what they’ve said? Especially in our digital world, where life seems to go by at breakneck speed, the art of paying attention is often lost in the chaos of everyday life.
While I am highly imperfect in this area – as evidenced above – in our home we’re working on simple ways to pay more attention to the act of saying grace.
The first is simply slowing down. If our goal is simply to get through the prayer as fast as possible so we can get onto eating, we’re missing the point. And I have to give my six year old daughter credit here. Lately, when saying grace, if we’re going too fast and spilling over our words she stops us, makes slow down motions with her hands like she’s a traffic control officer, and we start over again. I like to think that she learned that from me…but I can be the worst offender!
The second is stopping what you are doing. Yes, this sounds obvious. And yes, when sitting around the dinner table as a family there is a natural place to pause and say grace together. But, many times kids are going different directions at mealtimes and prayer can lack structure. Asking everyone to stop – really stop (close the fridge, put down the milk, close the newspaper, etc.) – to make a slow sign of the cross and pray together brings focus and presence to the moment and the act of giving thanks.
Another is to think about the words you pray. Yes, this again states the obvious, but how often do we fly through prayers without considering our words? Meditate on the words of grace, or at your next meal discuss them with your kids. Words like ‘thy gifts,’ ‘bounty,’ and ‘through Christ.’ Unpacking these words provides a beautiful way to bring meaning to this simple prayer.
In our home, we’re also adding grace after meals. This is a tradition I remember from childhood trips to visit my mother’s German family in Ohio. At the end of each meal everyone would pause, put their heads down and hands together, and say, “We give thee thanks, almighty God, for all the benefits we have received. From thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen.” While the end of a meal, especially with children, can be chaotic, grace after meals offers an opportunity to be present in the moment (however imperfect) and bring attention back to the Lord’s bounty.
Finally, saying grace in public. This is something I never did until we had kids. But when our little people arrived, my husband and I realized that – as with all things – we set the example. Why would we say grace and thank God at home, but not in public?
So…we started. At first it felt awkward. All of us in the restaurant booth making the slow motions of the sign of the cross together, bowing our heads, saying grace aloud. I was again a self-conscious high schooler, worrying about others noticing – and what they would think.
But my nerves got a wake-up call when God flipped them on their head and used that simple action to show his Grace to others. More than once complete strangers have approached us, remarking how beautiful it is to see a family praying together. Others say that seeing us pray reminds them of the Catholic faith of their childhood. Praying in this public way not only brings our own family’s attention to giving thanks, but provides witness to others of the beauty and goodness of faith.
In this fallen world, those little things matter. And, perhaps, they are not as little as they seem.
As a busy homeschooling mom of three, I know the challenges of having the time for prayer. And while I don’t suggest that saying grace replaces our quiet time alone with God, what a beautiful opportunity God has given us to stop, pause, and be with Him three times a day. Allow grace before meals to be that moment where you are truly in the present – focused on the sign of the cross, on gratitude for the food on your table, on Christ’s sacrifice for you and your family. When we give our full attention to God in these moments, he in turn showers us with his Grace.
